Funny insults and comebacks!

Shock your friends with these great comebacks!

Comebacks for friends

- I've just come back from the Beauticians
- Pity it was closed...

- I've changed my mind...
- Excellent, so does the new one work better?

- Why do you smell funny?
- It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before...

- I've been asked to get married over a hundreds times.
- Yeah, but your parents don't count...

- I reckon you'd make a great exchange student.
- Wow, you really think so?
- Yes, we might be able to exchange you for someone nice.

Man - Woman comebacks

Man: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

- Is this seat empty?
- Yes, and this one will be too, if you sit down.

- You're Ugly.
- And you're quite good looking... for a Gorilla, that is...

- Your place or mine?
- Both. You are going to yours, and I'm going to mine.

Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
Woman: What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?

- Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
- Go to hell!

- Say, haven't we met before?
- Yes, I'm the head Nurse at the VD clinic.

- Hey there, haven't I seen you some place before?
- Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore.

- I can tell that you want me.
- You know, you're dead right... I want you to go away!

Wife: Darling, do you think I'll lose my looks as I get older?
You: With luck, yes.

- You look like a dream.
- So, go back to sleep.

Man: I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: Let's start with your bank account.

- May I have the last dance?
- You've just had it.